If Everyday Life Had to Follow ABPI Rules

Working with the Code means seeing the world differently. Here is our 1984.

What if ABPI compliance rules didn’t just apply to our jobs what if they ran the

world. Here’s how things might look...

1. Watching TV? Where’s the Substantiation?!

Low hanging fruit we know but imagine this minefield of misleading claims.

• “This toothpaste will make your teeth 10x whiter in just three days!”

Where’s the study? What’s the sample size? Were the results peer-reviewed?

• “This shampoo is infused with 100% natural ingredients.”

Hold on - doesn’t ‘natural’ need defining? And what percentage is actually natural?

• “This mattress guarantees the best night’s sleep.”

Best for whom? Based on what evidence? Where’s the disclaimer: ‘Results may vary’?!

Forget suspending disbelief—we’re suspending claims until we’ve seen the data!

I'm still waiting for my wings from red bull.

2. Santa Claus? The Compliance Kid is NOT Convinced

Most kids ask Santa for presents. But a compliance kid? They want full transparency!

• Parent: “Santa brings presents to all the children in the world in one night!” Kid: “Do you have verified data to support that claim? Also, how is this distribution process funded?”

• Parent: “He flies with magic reindeer!”

  Kid: “I’ll need a published study confirming flight capabilities of reindeer species. I also need to see the flight plan and know which track he used over the Atlantic.”

• Parent: “He’s been doing this for hundreds of years.”

  Kid: “Historical accuracy matters. Have you got records proving Santa’s continuous operation? Also, does he disclose any conflicts of interest with the toy industry?”

This Christmas, Santa is getting audit-ready.

3. Wedding Speeches? Submit for Approval First

Usually giving a speech is an honour, in this world, it might be a curse

.

Every best man speech would need medical, legal, and regulatory sign-off at least two weeks in advance.

Any stories about the bride or groom must be fully substantiated (sorry, no exaggerated tales of uni days).

The free champagne toast? I don’t think so, it could be seen as an inducement—better stick to water.

By the time compliance is done with the speech, all that’s left is: “Welcome to the wedding. The bride and groom are getting married. Results may vary."

4. Booking a Group Holiday? Needs Full Review

Planning a group trip should be simple, right? Not if it’s treated like an ABPI event.

• Friend 1: “Shall we book an all-inclusive resort?”

  Friend 2: “We need to ensure the hospitality is appropriate and secondary to the main purpose of the trip. What’s the scientific justification for unlimited cocktails?”

• Friend 1: “Let’s fly business class!”

  Friend 2: “That level of travel exceeds what is necessary. It’s only a 2-hour flight so let’s do economy instead.”

• Friend 1: “Can I bring my partner?”

  Friend 2: “Sorry, hospitality is only for attendees and can’t be extended to spouses.”

At this point, you’re better off staying home.

5. Gym Membership? Mind Your Claims

This might actually be a good thing, imagine these bold claims: “Guaranteed six-pack abs in six weeks!” “Burn fat fast!”

Under ABPI rules, these statements would need to be: ✔ Accurate ✔ Balanced ✔ Fully substantiated with clinical evidence.

So instead of a punchy gym slogan, we’d get: “A controlled study of 50 individuals found that regular exercise may contribute to increased fitness levels, but results vary based on age, diet, and individual metabolism.”

Not quite as catchy, is it?

Final Thoughts: Compliance Might Be Tough, But It Matters

While we joke about compliance being overly cautious, the truth is—it’s there for a reason.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with it along the way.